The Power of No: Reclaiming Your Time, Energy, and Self-Worth

 In the constant rush of modern life, especially in a bustling city like London, it’s all too easy to get caught in a cycle of saying "yes" to everything. We find ourselves taking on extra tasks at work, agreeing to numerous favours for friends, and saying "yes" to social events we’d frankly rather skip. This habit often stems from a deep-seated fear of offending people, appearing unhelpful, or even being disliked. We worry about damaging relationships or missing out on opportunities. However, what we often fail to realize is that by constantly saying "yes" to everyone else, we are, in effect, saying "no" to our own well-being, our precious time, and our much-needed peace of mind.

This endless accommodation, while seemingly kind, can unfortunately lead to a dangerous pattern. People, whether consciously or not, can begin to exploit your accommodating nature. They see your willingness to help as an open invitation to offload their responsibilities or demands onto you. For example, at work, you might become the default person for last-minute tasks or projects that aren't truly yours, leaving you stressed and overworked while your colleagues enjoy a more balanced workload. In your personal life, friends might consistently ask for rides, favours, or even emotional support, seeing your time and energy as a resource they can freely tap into. The consequence? You end up feeling used and undervalued—like a "mug"—with your self-worth slowly eroding, replaced by nagging resentment and profound exhaustion.

Learning to say "no" is not an act of selfishness; it is a fundamental act of self-preservation and self-respect. It’s about establishing healthy boundaries and creating the essential space you need to thrive, rather than just survive. To begin, first understand your "why." What precisely are you protecting by saying "no"? Is it your mental health, your personal goals, your physical energy, or your precious free time? When you are clear on your "why," it becomes significantly easier to stand firm in your decision. Start practicing in low-stakes situations; for instance, decline a simple invitation to an event you're not enthusiastic about, or politely say you can't help with a minor favour. The more you practice, the more natural and empowering it will feel.

When you do say "no," strive to be direct and concise. You don't owe anyone a lengthy explanation or an elaborate excuse. A polite yet firm, "I appreciate you asking, but I can't take that on right now" or "That doesn't work for me" is perfectly acceptable. It's crucial to remember that you are saying "no" to a specific request, not to the person themselves. Your value as a friend, colleague, or family member is not, and should not be, tied to your ability to fulfil every single demand placed upon you. The first few times you assert this boundary might feel uncomfortable, and that's entirely normal. Acknowledge that feeling, but don't let it deter you. That initial discomfort will gradually lessen with practice, ultimately being replaced by a profound sense of confidence and empowerment. By learning to strategically say "no," you reclaim your life, protect your well-being, and create the vital space you truly deserve to flourish.

Srebrenica: A Haunting Echo in a World Still Bleeding

Today, July 11th, marks Srebrenica Remembrance Day, a solemn occasion to honour the more than 8,000 Muslim men and boys systematically murdered in July 1995 by Bosnian Serb forces. This horrific act, declared a genocide by international courts, stands as a stark reminder of humanity's capacity for unimaginable cruelty and the catastrophic consequences of unchecked hatred.

The peaceful rows of white gravestones at the Potočari Memorial Centre bear witness to the brutal efficiency with which lives were extinguished, families shattered, and a community devastated. Srebrenica was not an "accident of history"; it was the horrifying culmination of policies, propaganda, and, crucially, international indifference. "Never again," we vowed after the Holocaust, and again after Rwanda. Yet, the chilling reality is that "Never again" continues to be a promise repeatedly broken.

As we mark the 30th anniversary of Srebrenica in 2025, the echoes of that genocide reverberate with unsettling clarity in our current global climate. Far from being relegated to the history books, the spectre of massacres, ethnic cleansing, and genocidal acts continues to haunt communities around the world.

The Enduring Spirit: Lessons from Karbala and Modern Tragedies

The story of Karbala, a tragic and pivotal event in Islamic history, resonates with profound lessons of faith, perseverance, and unwavering commitment to justice. It is a narrative that, despite occurring over a thousand years ago, continues to offer solace and strength to those facing immense hardship in our own times.

At the heart of Karbala lies the sacrifice of Imam Hussain, the grandson of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and his valiant companions. In the scorching desert of Karbala, they faced an overwhelming army, driven by a thirst for power and a blatant disregard for Islamic principles. Imam Hussain's stand was not for worldly gain, but for the very essence of justice, truth, and the preservation of the Prophet's legacy.

The difficulties, trials, and tribulations faced by Imam Hussain and his family were unimaginable. They were denied water for days, surrounded by enemies, and subjected to immense psychological and physical torment. Children withered from thirst, families were torn apart, and the prospect of survival diminished with each passing moment. Yet, amidst this horrific ordeal, their patience and perseverance shone through. Their faith in the Creator, Allah, remained unshakeable. They faced death not with despair, but with dignity, seeing their suffering as a path to eternal truth and a testament to their unwavering commitment to their Lord.

Double Standards in UK Policing: Eroding Public Trust

The recent, disturbing incident in Tower Hamlets, where a pro-Palestine activist was subjected to brutal police force, is a stark reminder of the deep-rooted issues within UK policing. While it’s a particularly egregious example, it's far from isolated. A pattern of disproportionate force, particularly against marginalized communities, has eroded public trust and demands urgent attention.

Another Day, Another Outrage: Police Brutality at Manchester Airport

On Tuesday 23 July 2024, yet another shocking incident of police brutality unfolded at Manchester Airport, further eroding public trust in law enforcement. A video circulating on social media captured a police officer using excessive force, kicking a man in the head while simultaneously tasering him. The officer then proceeded to kick a second individual in the body. These actions are utterly reprehensible and demand immediate investigation.

A Celebration of Vibrancy: Exploring South Asian Heritage Month

July is South Asian Heritage Month, a time to delve into the rich tapestry of cultures, religions, and traditions that define this incredible region. Spanning countries like India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, and Nepal, South Asia boasts a dazzling diversity, yet a shared thread of heritage binds them together.

A Culinary Adventure

Food is a cornerstone of South Asian culture. Aromatic spices like turmeric, cumin, and coriander fill the air, enticing you with the promise of a flavour explosion. From the fluffy rice and creamy dals of India to the melt-in-your-mouth kebabs of Pakistan and the fiery curries of Sri Lanka, South Asian cuisine offers a journey for the taste buds. Don't forget the irresistible street food scene, with its samosas, pakoras, and melt-in-your-mouth desserts like gulab jamun.

Karachi: From Bustling Metropolis to Troubled Megacity

Karachi, the City of Lights, throbs with a vibrant energy that masks a complex past and a present etched with struggle. To understand Karachi is to delve into the layers of history it wears – a mosaic of empires, migrations, economic booms, political turmoil, and resilience.

A City in Transformation

Karachi, Pakistan's largest city, offers a compelling story of urban transformation, filled with both triumphs and struggles. Once a quaint fishing village called Kolachi, it flourished under British rule, becoming a major port city and a symbol of cosmopolitanism. Following Pakistan's independence in 1947, Karachi ascended to the status of the nation's capital, a testament to its economic and cultural significance.

However, the city's fortunes took a dramatic turn in the decades that followed. Today, Karachi grapples with a multitude of issues – crime, violence, ethnic tensions, political instability, and crumbling infrastructure – making it a stark example of the challenges faced by developing megacities.

Silence in the time of genocide

              Why are notable Rohingya figures silent about Israel and Gaza?

by: Shafiur Rahman

In the realm of human existence, silence can sometimes be more profound than words. It can echo through the corridors of history, leaving us to ponder the weight of its meaning. Recently, an X/Twitter post from the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum stirred a lot of thoughts within me. It spoke about the attack on Israel, but its silence on the Palestinian situation left a glaring void. Specifically, I was left to wonder why there was no mention of Israel's orders for Gaza—an action that Martin Griffiths, head of the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs, described as defying "the rules of war and basic humanity." The absence of commentary on Israel’s plans, which some argue not only violate international humanitarian law but also border on genocidal intent, makes the Museum's silence all the more perplexing.

The NHS at 75: A history of challenges and successes

The National Health Service (NHS) is celebrating its 75th birthday this year. It is a remarkable institution that has provided free healthcare to the British people for over seven decades. The NHS has faced many challenges over the years, but it has also achieved great things.

The NHS was founded in 1948, just after the end of World War II. At the time, the UK was in a state of economic and social upheaval. The NHS was created to provide free healthcare to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay. This was a radical idea at the time, but it was one that was welcomed by the British people.

The NHS has faced many challenges over the years. In the 1970s, it was hit by a series of financial crises. In the 1980s, it was subjected to a series of reforms by the Conservative government. These reforms led to a decline in morale among staff and the quality of care; and the NHS was accused of being inefficient and bureaucratic.

I’m a paramedic – here’s why I’m striking

The government has enabled real-term pay cuts, service overloads and chronic underinvestment within the NHS. - by Anonymous

Source: newstatesman.com

This week, I, along with thousands of fellow ambulance workers belonging to the Unison union across England, have voted to take strike action. We know it’s a shock – but we’re doing it out of necessity: not just for ourselves, but for the future of the NHS.

I’ve been a paramedic for more than 27 years, and I’ve seen the health service in all kinds of states – but this is the worst I’ve ever known it to be. For the past 12 years, my colleagues and I have said to each other “surely, it can’t get any worse?” and yet here we are. 

Diagnosing the issues paramedics face is easy – because they’re the same problems the rest of my NHS colleagues, across various disciplines, are dealing with: dwindling pay, service overloads and a chronic underinvestment in the health service.

Life's Ever Changing Priorities

Don’t let pressure and overwork encourage you to hurry past parts of your life. Whether it’s your children’s early life, whole segments of your marriage, or maybe the last active years of loved parents, they are swiftly past and gone beyond recall. Regret comes too late to save them. 

How many people still cherish an unfulfilled ambition to travel, or start their own business, or enter a new career, and yet do nothing to make it happen? Too many. Time passes. What was once an inspiring idea seems less and less feasible. Yet still they cling to the dream — only not this year. Maybe next year, when things calm down a little. When they’re not so busy. When they have the time.

We are so confused about time. We always have the same amount of it, since we can neither create more, nor save any for later, nor do away with what there is. Yet our perception of time is totally different. Sometimes it seems to drag in endless amounts. Sometimes it appears to flash past. Only our perception changes. Time itself does not.

Of course, what we mean is time free from other demands. But we will never have that either. There are always other calls on our attention and always will be. If you’re waiting for that magical day when nothing else awaits you, only your dream ready for fulfilment, you will wait for ever.

 

The truth is simple. People confuse what is urgent with what is important; what is pressing today with what is pressing in terms of their whole life. A task stands before you and shouts for your attention because it’s here, now, and must be done by tomorrow. So you set aside far more important activities and choices because they’re not urgent. You can do them tomorrow, no matter. Only that tomorrow never comes.

To live this way is understandable — it is how the vast majority live — but it’s neither sensible nor fulfilling. All those unmet dreams and expectations build up, until you enter the later part of life trailing a vast, sad cloud of “might have beens.” So many people today are filled with regret at the opportunities they missed because there were more urgent claims at the time. As they look back, they see clearly those claims were never as important as the hopes they supplanted. Now it’s too late.

To choose a fulfilling path, you must be clear about your values, so you can see the difference between demands that are only urgent, but otherwise have little importance in the scheme of your life; and those that may lack obvious urgency, yet are crucial to who you are and what you want your life to be. You must have the courage to use your time on important matters and set aside what’s merely urgent.

If there’s a dream in your life — something you yearn to achieve, or merely something it would be so much fun to try — don’t put it aside. If that dream is up there at the top (or very near the top) of your personal values, do it now. Yes, now. Don’t wait another day. Nothing is as important to your long-term wellbeing. But if your dream doesn’t make it to the top of your list, set it aside without regret. Like a pretty toy, it may be pleasant to look at, but it’s not important enough to give time to.

Choice may not remove regret entirely — you may always wonder a little what it might have been like — but at least you’ll know you did choose. You didn’t look back later and realize you’d missed that boat without ever grasping it was ready to leave.